Crazy? Human.

Who are you when nobody is watching? Who are you when you don't have to be or do anything?

I feel that (well pretty much 99% of the time) that I am being watched. That I have to always be doing, learning, being something.

I get this feeling that my laptop is watching me. That I have a tiny camera in my room that someone is watching. That the fire alarm in my room has eyes.

Wow. Saying that out loud (well... typing it) sounds obsurd. But certainly I am not the only one who feels this way.

It has become the norm for me.

In a way, I feel that the "universe" (wow... how do I say this without sounding like a complete fruit loop?) is watching me. I honestly feel like I am supported and looked after by something greater then me.

It is a nice feeling and a comforting thought.

I feel safe. I feel like nothing can hurt me. I feel that everyone I meet is a good, genuine person. I feel like everything that happens in my life has a positive outcome (even if it doesn't feel that way at the time).

I feel that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know and have experienced in their lives. I do not judge people in any way negatively. I feel like I am constantly learning off other people. I feel like I am constantly trying to read people. Go beneath the surface of what they say or do. Trying to understand them at a deeper level.

What makes them do what they do?

What makes them say that?

I do this subconsciously.

Part of me wonders whether they even have a deeper thought about what they are doing/saying.

Honestly, I would love to spend an hour in someone elses head and body. To experience life from someone elses' point of view. To see what other people think about.

I believe we can often get so caught up in ourselves that we don't necessarily even think about anything else.

And there is nothing wrong with that. Our lives revolve around us. Truly. We see everything as we are.

I think the trick here is to become more mindful. More aware of ourselves.

(who am I kidding!- I feel that even writing this, that people are going to judge. Say I am making bad generalisations. That I am crazy. I need to get out of my head and back into my body. My soul. My truth.)

Wow.

Ok, so if anyone ever even reads this;

- You are worthy

- You are not alone

- You have a light in this world that only you can bring out

- You create your life!

So, once again, my mind has rambled way of track. I don't even recall how this started our how this intended to go.

Spontaneous.

Random?

Crazy?

Human.

#rambles #mentalhealth #mindful #conscious