Anxious, scared yet calm?
- Apr 7, 2018
- 2 min read
Tonight I embarrassedly got into my filthy car and drove to the supermarket. I felt embarrassed and like everyone was watching me the whole damn time.
And to make it worse I got flustered and rushed to the first check out I saw, the (probably only 16-year-old) girl at the registers was counting money at the time and I asked if it was fine to go through her register. She said yes, but after a few minutes, I was still standing there watching her count money over and over.
This didn’t bother me at all. If anything, I like when I have to wait. It gives me time to adjust to where I am and process my next move. After rushing out worrying about what the lady behind me was thinking, I got into my dirty car again and got ready to muck up again.
This time I didn’t give way to someone that was approaching the zebra crossing and to make it worse he looked at me and gestured something with his hands.
I had no idea what he meant and turns out it was a one-way lane and I was going the wrong way. I then made it to the traffic lights to turn and waited thinking I wasn’t allowed to turn.
What confuses me most though, is that my breathing is slow, I am relaxed and calm, and yet completely anxious, scared and beating myself up for every part.
Why does this happen?
I believe this happens when we are not comfortable with ourselves. I believe it is because we spend too much time worrying about what others think.
Why is it that it takes anywhere from 10-30 minutes to figure out what to wear that won't draw attention or look silly? And why is it that it takes going to the toilet several times and looking in the mirror several times just to leave the house?
It’s time to ignore the negative voice in our heads. It’s time to learn how to not give a fuck what anyone else thinks. If anybody has an opinion, chances are it is just a brief thought, and BAM, you are gone from their consciousness.
Be you. Breathe. All is well.
Comments